courage in tragedy
by ilovesteveandnat
Summary: After Thanos wipes out half the universe, dimenshing Steve and Natasha's loved ones, they come to the startling revelation that Natasha had been pregnant and the baby was now too, gone. Determined to get James Clinton Rogers back, the two set up to reunite whoever is left of the avengers and kick Thanos' ass, while falling in love a little more everyday. (contains iw spoilers)
1. Chapter 1

_Gone_. That was the word used to describe the fallen ones. They didn't even know if they were all dead, they were just meant by the fact that one minute they were breathing people, and the next dust in the wind. Steve knelt over Visions body, that was now torn limb for limb. He was pretty sure his wrist had been broken too, but knew the serum would kick in and it would heal in no time. His wrist would be fine, but would he? He just watched his family die in front of him, and he sits wondering why didn't he get taken too, what made him so special? As far as he knew Wanda, Vision, Sam, and Bucky were gone. Just as he was grieving his loss, his mind went to another place. _Natasha_. Was she okay? Had she gone like everyone else?

Some months after the events of the accords Natasha had turned up to his safe house in Belgium. She was clearly distraught and apologetic. Saying she was sorry and that she just needed Steve. The soldier knew that she was being honest, and that he would forever be loyal to her. After their reunion Wanda and Sam made amends with the spy as well. Another month and the two were hopelessly in love. Neither sure when it happened and how they got so lucky but, they were grateful, it instilled a steadiness in them that was unexplainable.

Steve stayed firm on the ground, in all honesty nothing terrified him more then what Natasha's fate was. If she was taken like the others he wasn't sure if he could go on. He was pulled out of his trance when he heard a soft pitter padder of footsteps creeping up on him. He didn't turn his head, not caring if he was in danger. The footsteps were followed by a groan and a loud thump. He knew that the groan had unmistakably escaped Natasha's lip. Alerted, he finally was out of his daze, and leapt to her side. Her unresponsive state had distracted him by the catastrophe he was faced with, but only sucked him into another.

"Natasha." He said shaking her body lightly.

"Nat!" He exclaimed louder, pulling the attention of anyone left.

Before he knew it, his cheeks were stained with tears, and her unconscious form was scooped into his arms. His pace picked up and he was running toward the lavish Wakandan structure. It took him a moment to realize that Okoye had caught up to him.

"This way!" She demanded.

Okoye was unsure what had happened, but she knew if there was the slightest chance that she could do some good today she'd take it. The three of them (with Natasha in Steve's arms) bursted into the lab, meant by a devastated Shuri, who must've received word about the king, her brother. Shuri stood up at the presence and hurriedly wiped away tears.

"What happened?" The young princess asked trying to settle her voice, to sound as confident as she could.

"I don't know, she was just... she just..." Steve said growing into mass hysteria, tripping over his words.

"The table." Shuri demanded.

He obeyed, and Okoye escorted him out, as Shuri got to work.

The general had escorted Steve into a small room feet away from the lab, where he was pacing a hole into the floor.

What felt like an eternity later, Shuri walked through the door. Her head hanging low. Steve gave his full attention to her, anticipating any outcome.

"She's okay." She said sadly.

He sighed a breath of relief.

"But Captain there's something you should know." She started hesitantly.

"Agent Romanoff was pregnant." She stated voice breaking.

Shuri didn't know the pair well, but the fact this battle was affecting even the tiniest of lives just made it that more difficult.

"She's awake now, and she's been informed, but she's not taking it very well. You may see her." She nodded to the solider and left the room respectfully.

Steve felt so many emotions: anger, sadness, frustration, and most of all, sympathy. Sympathy for Natasha as she had lost a child too. A child that neither knew existed. Yes, Natasha was stubborn as hell but she would never risk her child's life like that without even informing Steve, that he was sure of. He sauntered toward the lab where she was in recovery, but he wasn't sure what exactly happened. Steve quickly reflected on Shuri's words and calculated the situation before going in.

"Agent Romanoff _was_ pregnant." Her voice echoed in his head.

He took a breath to ease himself and pushed open the door. His heart broke at the sight in front of him. Super solider, Captain, leader, and hero Steve Rogers felt nothing but useless and weak at the sight before him. There in front of him was the normally collected and strong Natasha Romanoff. Sure, he'd seen her distraught before, he was one of the only people she was her genuine self around. Laying in the bed, was Natasha attempting to suppress sobs into her hands as her eyes are shut tightly, and tears running down her face like a river. Without a thought, he climbed into the bed with her. She naturally shifted, and carved herself into his muscular frame.

"Shhh...it's okay." He whispered caressing her hair gently.

Steve softly kept telling her that it was alright, when deep down he knew it wasn't. He couldn't help but let a tear or two slip out of his own eyes, he didn't really understand what had happened but seeing her in that state made his heart swell.

The concept of time was slowly slipping away from the pair. They felt like they had nothing to attend to, most their love ones gone, they just drank in one another. When the crying had decreased into small gasps and light sniffling, Steve broke the silence.

"What happened?" He asked sadly, his blue eyes meeting her glassy green ones.

"I couldn't keep him safe Steve. I'm so sorry." She said huskily, shaking her head vigorously.

"Who Nat?" He asked afraid of the response.

"Our baby." She practically moaned in pain.

He stared puzzled hoping she had the courage to elaborate.

She sucked in, preparing herself of what she was to say next.

"I think," she started, trying to remain composed.

"I think it was the night I had gotten back from Bangkok. We had been apart for a week, which was a record since I joined you on the run. That was a really nice night." She said with a smile.

Steve returned it. It was a great night. They had been missing one another and they didn't care the circumstances or the crudeness of the world, they just made love. It was like two souls becoming one.

"I noticed that I was late for my period a few weeks back, but considering our situation, I thought less of it." She continued staring into the void.

"Then he snapped his fingers. When they all started... disintegrating, my instinct was to find you. Make sure you were okay. I was stopped by a sensation in my stomach. I can't describe it, it felt like physical emptiness, then I blacked out." She was becoming emotional he could tell.

He gently gripped her hand and gave it a nice squeeze, to encourage her to keep going.

"Next thing I know is I'm awake, and in pain. Shuri explained to me that upon her assessment she can determine that i was pregnant, but like the others the baby vanished." She breathed out shakily.

"I didn't even know I could get pregnant, red room took that from me. Maybe it's your serum that helped, or just luck, but it happened. He came and went, I'm sorry I couldn't keep him safe." She said crying again.

He hugged her tight, and she returned it. They didn't know much about what was happening but they knew that they needed each other.

"He?" Steve practically whispered to himself.

She heard.

"I'd like to think he was a boy, just a feeling." She said with a sadness.

He positioned her so their eyes were meant. The emerald melting into his azure blues.

"James." He said with a dreary smile.

"James Clinton Rogers." He finished as water escaped his eye.

The spy gently used the pad of her thumb to wipe away the stray tear. A sudden flash was in her eyes, fire and determination seeped into him as she stared.

"We are getting him back. We are going to save are son." She said confidently.

"We are going to save James." Steve demanded, the same fire igniting in him.

The sudden splurge of drive didn't take away any of the pain. All it did was set a goal for the two, a mission if you will. The partners always completed a mission.

Eventually, the pair climbed out of the small bed in the lab, and into a room supplied by Okoye. The two would've been more appreciative of the five star hotel like decor, if half the universe hadn't been wiped out. They both trudged to the bed, and flopped back onto it. Suddenly, out of habit they tangled their limbs together and found ease in their electrifying touch.

"We have to keep this between us for now." She told him.

He nodded.

"Not that i think it's a bad idea, but any particular reason why?" He asked.

"I don't want anyone using this against either of us. I want him out of this." She commanded.

"Okay." Was all he said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

The two were enveloped into a silence, and slowly drifting into sleep when a knock sounded at the door.

"I got it." He said annoyed, getting up.

He opened the door and was meant by a man draped in furs. He recognized him as M'Backu. Nat sat up to get a look, making eye contact with the man and politely nodding at his presence.

"Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff, tomorrow morning there will be a regrouping of anyone left after the attack. Queen Shuri decided it was best to rest for the night. I will see you in the morning." He

demanded before turning on his heel.

Steve shut the door as the warrior exited. He stood in front of the bed, still in his uniform, while Natasha was in a robe provided by the medical care she received.

"Let's get out of these, and cleaned up." She insisted, rising from the bed.

An hour later the spy and soldier were laying back in the same spot as before. Natasha had found herself in one of Steve's shirts, and he was laying in some flannel pants. They were holding one another tight, and couldn't seem to fall asleep.

"Do you think he's out there... do you think Clint's okay?" She dreaded the question but went against her better judgement.

"If he's out there Nat, we are going to find him. And if he's not, we are going to get him back." He assured her.

"Clint would be really happy knowing I named our kid after him." She said grinning.

"Won't be too long until Clint can meet James." Steve spoke. Hoping he sounded convincing.

Natasha picked up on the uneasiness in his tone, he was a terrible liar. However, she brushed it off, dozing off into sleep.

please review, it means the world especially on new pieces I'm trying out! :)

also check out "come back to me" another steve-nat story

-meg


	2. Chapter 2

**I actually really enjoyed this chapter and love where I left it. Please review!**

 _She was happy. She felt a warmth in her heart that was indescribable, and she didn't know why. However, within moments she figured it out. Crawling around in front of her was a baby with a strong resemblance to Steve. Natasha made her way towards the child as he intertwined his small hand around her finger. The baby coo's lightly as she smiles down to him. She's pulled out of her haze with the child when the door bell rings._

" _I'll get it. Everyone's here to meet you little man." Steve tells her smiling at the two._

 _Entering into the house were: The Barton family, Pepper, Tony, Thor, Wanda, Sam, Peter, Bruce, Bucky, and T'Challa._

" _He's so cute!" Pepper exclaimed making her way to the child._

" _Peps got a point but he'd be cuter with a name like Tony." He deadpanned._

" _Shut the fu-" Bucky started in through a chuckle before he was cut off._

" _Language!" Steve and Natasha exclaimed in sync._

 _The group as a entirety laughed at scene._

" _Here hold him for a minute while I got get the food." She says handing the child gently to Steve, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek._

" _Starks just mad the kid was named James, after yours truly." Bucky flaunts as they all settle in._

" _Tread lightly Barnes." Tony warned with a smirk._

" _Hey are we forgetting his middle name is Clinton!" Clint stated proudly._

 _Before the verbal spar could continue, she interrupted._

" _Hey could someone come help me carry a few things?" She questioned, back to them, focused on unwrapping the feast she prepared._

" _Of course my lady." Thor said politely, as his foot steps grew closer._

 _Natasha pivoted to face him, holding out a tray of cheese for him to put out just to find him and Bruce Banner turning into ash? She couldn't really tell what it was._

" _Thor? Bruce?" She practically cried out, dropping the cheese to the floor._

 _She then noticed both Wanda and Pepper taking the same form._

" _No!" She yelled out, leaping to try to grab them, thinking it may change their fate._

 _Her attention was turned to the three males on the couch: Bucky, T'Challa, and Sam now disintegrating. Her heart ached at the sight, and everyone remaining frozen, like time stood still._

 _Next, the Barton family all blew into a dust cloud at the same time._

" _Cooper!" The spy cried out just before he blew off._

 _A minute passed, and herself, Tony, Peter, Steve, and little James were all left. Tony and Steve were still unresponsive and not reacting at all to what had been happening. Finally, someone did something. A loud cough rang out, it came from the young teen._

" _I don't feel so good." He said clutching his stomach._

 _Nat raced toward him, and caught him before he could hit the ground._

" _I don't wanna go, please!" He begged her._

 _Her heart broke, what was even going on, and how could she stop it?_

" _I'm sorry." She heard him whisper before vanishing._

 _Her eyes grew wide and brimmed with tears, and before she could process anything she turned to see Tony and Pepper were gone. Now just a pile of dust. All that was left was Steve and James. Steve stepped uneasily to the side, his footing messed up._

" _No Steve don't! Not you to! Please, don't leave me here!" She cried out reaching for James as Steve met his fate._

 _Natasha sat on the couch with her son in her arms, cuddling to him._

" _It's okay I got you." She said sadly to the baby so innocent to the terrible world._

 _All of the sudden, the warmth and comfort in her arms transformed into ash. James had succumbed to Thanos as well. A pained whimper escaped her lips as she sat, and waited for the eternal evil to come take her as well. However, it never did, she sat for what felt like hours on that couch waiting and waiting. But nothing, until she heard someone call her name._

"Nat!" Steve called to her concerned, shaking her shoulders for her to wake.

She sat up with a sudden jolt, and heavy breaths.

"What's wrong? You were twitching like crazy." He told her rubbing circles on her back.

"You were all gone. All of you. I was the only one left her took everything from me..." she said hysterical.

"Hey, shhh, I'm still here." He said kissing her head lightly and pulling her back down to a laying position.

"I'm still here." He kept whispering to her until she finally fell asleep again, he soon did the same.

The next morning the both were awoken by a loud thud on the door. Natasha nearly jumped and grabbed a knife on the night stand, stalked near the door. She looked through the small peep hole to see a raccoon? She hesitantly opened the door.

"Hello?" She said, her voice had a tone of curiosity. Not at the fact that someone had knocked but at the fact it had been a raccoon.

Steve had joined her side looking just as puzzled as she was. He was pretty sure this wasn't just a twenty first century accommodation judging by the look on Natasha's face mimicking his own.

"I'm Rocket Raccoon. And I know that you're probably confused but your both needed in the conference room, I'll explain on the way." He assured as he stepped to the side for the two to leave the room.

The trio trudged down the hall looking underdressed, but not giving it a second thought.

"Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers I am a captain of a spaceship, and am known to be apart of a group called 'The Guardians of The Galaxy'."

Steve and Natasha got a sense of idiocy that they hadn't put it together. I mean it explained why he was here, and why he was so nonchalant being a talking raccoon.

"Captain, ma'am, like the both of you I lost someone close to me in battle... and the rest of my friends i don't even know what happened." He stated sadly, it was odd for him to be so formal and vulnerable but he was a roll with the punches kind of creature.

"Call me Steve." He told the raccoon, he could tell he was upset but they Steve rather not go into the details of yesterday again in fear of loosing it.

"Right, Steve. I was hoping those of you left would help me get back to my family, and together we can defeat Thanos. I know a girl whose got a lot of dirt on him." Rocket told him, retrieving into his former witty self.

"We will have to discuss details and all, but I'm sure the captain and I will be willing." She flashed Steve a quick look that made him think she was planning something.

"Thank you agent." He said kindly.

"Please, call me Natasha. Anything but agent." The statement was bitter which made Rocket chuckle reflecting his own personality. It wasn't a dig to him, just her not wanting to think about her agent title felt stripped years ago.

They continued silently into the conference room, opening the door to be left with the population remaining. This consisted of: Shuri, M'Backu, Okoye, Thor, Bruce, Rhodey, and of course Rocket.

"Rabbit, thank you for retrieving my friends for me." He said sincerely.

"No problem Thor." Rocket said emphasizing the fact they were on a first name basis.

Everyone decided against questioning the use of the name 'rabbit', and the details of how they actually came across one another.

"Queen Shuri decided to gather you all here to discuss whatever needs to be done in able to restore all those lost, and take down Thanos." She said, practically spitting out the last bit.

They all nodded, agreeing, as Steve and Natasha sat at the conference table right next one another.

"Has anyone been able to make any communication with an asset that isn't in Wakanda?" Shuri asked uneasy.

Everyone nodded no. Though it was selfish, Steve nor Natasha thought to contact anyone else, they were wrapped in their own loss to think about anymore. Natasha tensed profusely at the question. God she hadn't even thought about it. _Were they okay? The Barton's, Stark, Pepper, Peter..._

She panicked inwardly. Her thoughts were interrupted by Steve grabbing her hand from under the table, instantly slowing down her breathing.

The room was filled with silence, giving a Shuri the answer she had dreaded.

"Anyone heard from Stark... I'm sure he can help." Rhodes said almost apprehensive. Like he was trying to convince himself Tony was okay.

"I have not. However, we shall try to contact them, we need all the help we can get." Thor demanded.

"I'll try to reach Tony." Rhodey declared leaving his spot at the table, and vacating the room.

"You tried Loki? Maybe he can help." Steve asked the god.

Thor's head dropped.

"He didn't make it." The blonde said sadly.

"I'm sorry... I had no idea." Steve said quietly, feeling remorse for his friend.

"No worries Steven. I hope to get him back soon enough." He told his friend.

Steve gave him a nod and a small smile at his friends optimism, wishing he felt the same.

No one spoke after that, taking a brief moment to reflect on the loss. Before anyone could delve in to deep about the battle, the silence was broken.

"Barton and Parker." Natasha said.

Everyone's head snapped to the spy.

"I'm going to go call Barton and Parker." She said her voice breaking the slightest. To the average ears they wouldn't even notice the falter, but Steve had and he was concerned.

Natasha pushed her chair back, slipping her hand out of his, and picked up her pace out of the room. Steve's face looked worried as she sped out of the room. Out of courtesy he didn't follow her, not wanting to barge out the meeting.

Okoye gave him a sideways look, until she spoke.

"You are excused Captain." She told him, picking up on the affection he had for the spy.

"Thank you." He said politely, before exiting the conference room.

His walk turned into a jog once he was in the hallway. It was a long stretch, but he needed to make sure she was okay. The uncertainty was probably killing her. Yes, he lost people, and yes he was devastated. Sam and Bucky were gone, and they were his best friends, his brother. And the people Nat considered family, well she had no idea what their fate was.

Steve barged into their suite to find her on the phone. She was pacing the room, the device pressed to her ear. She let out a frustrated huff, and threw her phone against the wall.

"God damnit Barton, pick up!" She yelled.

She cursed in Russian and went to pick up her phone she dialed another number.

"Come on Laura... come on..." She repeated over and over, until he heard the tone of a voicemail.

She flopped back onto bed, and buried her face in her hands.

"Hey," Steve said kneeling down and gently pulling her hands away.

"Who knows if they're gone okay? Just because they didn't pick up, they could be dealing with other things, and we both know the reception sucks out there." He told her, tucking a piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

"You're probably right." She said trying to convince herself.

She met Steve eyes and he smiled softly, until her green orbs suddenly bulged.

"Peter! I have to call Peter, he's _always_ on his phone." She said almost happily.

For whatever reason she wouldn't believe that the universe would be cruel enough to take him away, he had to be alive.

She clicked the little icon on her phone and it began to ring.

She had a small grin plastered on her lips.

" _Heya, you've reached Peter. If I don't answer I'm probably off being awesome, bye now!"_ a beep sounded.

Her face dropped.

"No, no, no... he's always on his phone. It's a mistake." She said trying to call again and again, getting the same voicemail.

After at least twenty two times of her dialing, Steve couldn't take it. He took the phone from her and placed it behind her on the bed.

"Nat..." he tried.

"Steve, it was my job! It was my job to protect him, to keep him safe!" She exclaimed and broke down.

Following the events of Civil War, Peter had signed the accords. He hadn't known any better, and sided with Stark. It was natural for him, Tony had taken him in. Natasha had also protected the young teen, she felt a connection to his free spirit. She wanted nothing more then to give Peter the childhood she never had. To prove you can be trained and brought up from good, not evil. About a month after Natasha had been on the run, she was devastated. The hardest thing to leave behind was Peter. Her and Steve had been in a random house in the French countryside when she received the call.

 _Her phone rang, making the two jump._

" _Who is it?" Steve asked her._

 _She crossed the room and picked up the phone to observe the screen._

" _Stark." She deadpanned._

" _What?" He asked shocked, if Tony could reach her, then why hadn't he just come and get them._

 _She answered the call but didn't say anything._

" _Natasha!" She heard a breathless Tony yell into the phone._

 _She then knew it was serious when he said her real name: no red, no Natalie, Natasha._

" _Tony! What's wrong?" She asked in a low concerned tone._

 _She heard some clambering in the back, followed by a scream of what sounded like pain._

" _It's Peter... oh god, it's not good." Tony said hurriedly._

" _Woah, slow down. What happened?" She tried her best to remain calm herself._

" _They came for her, Ross' men came for his Aunt May. They attacked her, and he-he..." his breath was speeding up and he began to trip over words._

" _Tony, just breathe okay?" It was so rare that the two were so vulnerable with one another, they were usually all jokes._

" _He was trying to save her, and he killed one of them. Ross is going to be after him, he's just a kid Natasha." Stark pleaded into the phone._

 _Her heart broke._

" _The airport, in Belgium. Private aircraft, I'll get him from there around nine pm." She assured Tony._

 _She could envision the closure at her words._

" _Thank you Natasha-" he started, until she caught him off._

" _Listen, not a word to anyone. I get it we aren't on the best terms but you want to keep him safe, you keep your mouth shut." She demanded._

" _Of course." He stated back._

" _Goodbye Tony." She said almost sad?_

" _Goodbye Nat. Take care of him." He told her with pure emotion._

" _You know I will." She assured, and hung up._

 _Following the impromptu call, Natasha started packing the few things she kept. Steve was confused, but she explained what happened best she could, and he understood and they hurried to Belgium._

 _When they picked up Peter, he was distraught, and grieving. They gave him some time and he came around. Natasha became like a mother to him and they were on the run together for a mere two years until Tony struck a deal to get him safety back to New York. It worked out, and he attended high school again and lived with Tony. Peter was the only person she kept in contact with calling whenever she could, and talking for as long as possible._

During the years her and Tony became the boys legal guardian, and last she knew he was happily enjoying the decathlon team. Now his fate was unknown.

"Tony." Steve stated as he pulled her into an embrace.

"We have to find Tony. He will know." Steve told his girlfriend.

It was kind of a sure thing Stark was alive. He was Tony freaking Stark. Not even Thanos was taking him.

Natasha was shocked at Steve's words. The two practically killed one another over the accords, and now he was willing to contact and even rekindle whatever was left of their relationship. And for what, _her_? Steve reached behind her, and picked up her phone dialing her number. He put the phone on speaker for her to hear. It rang six times, and the two felt like it was hopeless, until the ringing stopped. A worn out, groggy voice picked up on the other end.

" _Natasha_?"


	3. Chapter 3

PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE, ENJOY!

"Natasha?" Tony's distraught voice rang through the phone.

Steve gulped as Natasha stood shocked.

"It's Steve actually..." he started.

"Oh my god? Rogers!" Tony breathed out, and he sounded relieved, to Steve's shock.

"Wait if you're on Natasha's then does that mean..." Tony asked sadly. Knowing what he was implying she butted in.

"No Tony, I'm right here." She said softly.

"Where are you?" She asked next.

"I'm on Titan." He replied.

"Titan, like the planet?" She asked.

"How are you even talking on the phone from up there?" The spy said confused.

"Stark technology." Iron man answered.

Steve couldn't help but smile the slightest bit knowing his friends humor hadn't changed.

Then the mood changed, and reality set in.

"How is it looking on your end?" Tony asked reluctant.

"Uh... it's just me, Steve, Bruce, Rhodes, Thor, and a few Wakdandans and a raccoon left." She told her friend.

"What about you?" She asked.

"I was with a group called the guardians of the galaxy, and a wizard. It's just me now." He said sad.

"Did you try Pepper?" She piped up.

"Pepper." Tony said with a pause

"Is fine." He assured.

"Thank god, talk to anyone else, Barton? Peter?" She kept bombarding him with questions.

"No." He cut off.

Natasha looked sad at this, and Steve comfortingly let his hand rest on her thigh.

"Nat, you gotta know..." Tony started sounding choked up.

"Peter, he uh, he didn't make it. He was with me and like the others he just... vanished." They heard him sniffle through the phone.

Natasha got up, and ran to the bathroom. Steve heard the contents of whatever she managed to eat spill into the toilet. He wasn't sure if it was a side effect of the pregnancy overcoming her, or the loss was too much.

"Tony uh, it's Steve." Steve muttered into the phone.

"Natasha's not doing to well on this end." He said despite the obvious.

"Mean either Captain. But I can't get home." His shaky voice told Steve.

"We're gonna get to you alright? Just stay put." Steve told him. In that moment he forgot all about the accords and a glimmer of hope for the twos friendship was set into place.

"Stark out." Tony said like old times, and hung up the phone.

He hurried into the bathroom to find her hunched over the toilet. She looked up as she felt his presence in the room.

"God Steve. Why not me? In a heart beat I would've gone to save all of them, Peter, _James_." The word was drawn out and sad.

Steve sat on the floor next to her turning to face her.

"I know Nat. I would've too." He said a tear escaping his eye.

Her heart ached at the sight.

"God I'm so stupid." She whispered almost to herself, pulling him out of his daze.

"I've never once asked how you are. How are _you_ Steve?"

Steve looked shocked at the question. She didn't really need to ask, she had been comforting the entire time.

"I'm... I'm..." He was searching for words.

"I'm scared. I'm terrified that we won't be able to fix this, and they'll just be gone while we have to keep going without them." He told her truthfully.

Without hesitation she wrapped her arms around his torso and leaned her head into his chest. He responded doing the same.

"We can do this. You're a hero, you're _my_ hero." She whispered.

They sat like that for a few minutes enjoying each others touch and the comfort it brought.

"Hey," She asked.

He pulled back slightly and met her eyes.

"The raccoon said he was a pilot, right?" She said cocking an eyebrow slightly.

"Yes he did." Steve grinned knowing exactly what she was thinking.

—

Twenty minutes later the two sent out word to the facility for an emergency meeting. Natasha's vacated into the bathroom to change, while Steve sat in the bedroom.

Draped over the bed sheets had been his suit. He stared at it, the blood stains still evident, and small rips here and there. His eyes bore into it, he's so focused on the wear and tear that he hadn't noticed Natasha enter.

"Hey soldier." She said softly, in her cat suit.

"You think this will work?" He asked bluntly his eyes finding her own.

"We won't know until we try Steve." She replied earnestly, cupping his cheek.

He leaned into her touch, until she gently pulled away. She picked up the suit on the bed, and held it up.

"Come on, you can do this." She encouraged lightly.

"I can do this." He replied in a whisper.

She nodded happily and shoved him into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later the two stood at the edge of the long table in the conference room. Shuri, M'Baku, Okoye, Thor, Rocket, Bruce, and Rhodey were all present.

Not wasting anytime Natasha spoke:

"I spoke with Tony."

Gasps and agape mouths filled the room.

"He's stuck on the planet Titan. But, he has no way back. We have to retrieve him and hope he has the technology from there to defeat Thanos." She briefed the group.

The room fell silent.

"I can get us there." A voice spoke out.

Everyone's head snapped to the small raccoon seated at the table.

"I'm a pilot. I know how to do it fast, and safe. I just need to be supplied with a ship." He told the group.

"We can do that for you." Shuri said strongly.

Everything was somewhat falling into place and everyone was eager to set course.

"I propose Lady Natasha, Steven, The rabbit, and myself set course to Titan." Thor suggested

Everyone nodded in agreement. They knew Rhodey needed rest more then anyone from the strain on his legs, it was best that anyone from Wakanda stay put, and Bruce would be the best guy to analyze what had happened to their friends.

"When can the ship be done by?" Rocket asked curiously.

"I can have it ready within three hours." Shuri stated.

"We leave in four." Natasha declared and turned on her heel to leave.

At that the rest of the group dissipated. Rocket, Thor, and Steve went back to their rooms. While Bruce, Okoye, M'Backu, Shuri, and Rhodey went elsewhere.

Steve, Thor, and Rocket walked back together.

"How have you been Steven. I've heard about the conflict between Stark and yourself." Tony asked curiously.

Steve cringed at the memories.

"I uh... I haven't talked to Stark until today. For now everything that happened then kinda seems irrelevant and we're gonna have to push it aside." He said squeamishly.

Thor picked up on his discomfort.

"You and Natasha?" He asked with a grin.

Steve couldn't help but feel his hearts strings pull, and his lips tug up.

"Yeah. Me and Natasha." He assures, glowing.

"Can't say I'm surprised." Thor says clapping his shoulder.

"When did that come to be?" Thor continued curiously.

Rocket just stood beside Thor, his ears perked. The raccoon was curious himself.

"I was in a really rough spot after everything with Tony." He starts, not able to bring himself to mention Bucky accompanied him.

"I was trying to get away, or else they would've taken me, or killed me. I was on the hanger to get away, and all that stood between me and the jet was her. Even though she was with Stark, she let me go. The entire time everyone including myself, had their heads up their asses about the entire thing, and she kept all of us leveled. And when we left each other... it was kinda empty. So I looked for her, and the rest is history." He says with a sheepish smile.

Thor himself smiles at the pair coming together. The god has always been very close to Steve, and sensed that he shared feelings for Natasha.

Steve reaches his room and waves the two off. He pushed the door open to find Natasha scrambling around the room like a mad man. She was visibly tense and stressed. The spy was tearing through the closet and throwing its contents onto the floor.

"Nat?" He questioned her.

"I uh... I don't know what I need to bring. I don't even know what I'm going, I-" she was tripping over words, which is so unlike her.

She was panicking. Her breaths picked up and her knees were wobbling and she was collapsing. In a swift motion Steve put his arms out and hooked his forearms through her armpit to catch her. He succeeded, and helped her up, with a firm grip on her shoulders so she wouldn't wobble.

"You gotta breathe okay?" He whispered to her.

His eyes burned into hers, the look she held was nothing but sad.

"What are we doing?" She finally asked panting.

"We're in over our heads." She continued.

"Maybe if I could do something right like protect Peter, or carry our baby, we wouldn't be in this damn mess!" The exhaustion in her voice is worrying.

"Don't say that, please." He is practically begging her.

"I wish i could've done better for them, for you." She emphasizes the last word, and his heart shatters.

He embraces her tenderly.

"You're enough Natasha. And your stronger than you know." He whispers softly into her hair.

She's clinging onto him for dear life. He's the only thing anchoring her. Keeping her alive, she wants to live. Not for herself, but for him, and the chance to give him the family he deserves.

"How about we rest before we need tog go?" He says.

He feels her nod, and proceeds to help her from the ground. The two fall into the bed and melt into the comfort and warmth it provides. Natasha shifts closer, and Steve's wraps his arms around her. He's stroking her hair gently while she tenderly intertwines their fingers.

"You know this isn't me. I'm not good at this, feeling things, dealing with it." She all but whispers.

"I know Nat." He says.

"But, just because you're not good at it, doesn't mean you have to deal with it alone." He assures.

"God, what did I do to deserve you." She meets his eyes.

He opens his mouth to protest but her lips are on his and they're plummeted into a passionate kiss. They reluctantly pull away gasping for air. He sweeps his thumb gently across her cheek, and she does the same down his jaw, the beard prickling her fingers. His eyes seep into hers. He's been thinking for a while and having doubts, but the look in her eyes makes him certain.

"Marry me." He almost says it, like it's not a question.

She sits up, and stares down at him.

"What?" She breathes out look of genuine shock on her face.

He pushes the covers back, and scatters to the dresser. He opens the sock drawer and pulls out a small box. She shuffled to the end of the bed to get a better look. He all but kneels in front of her, and opens the box. Inside is a ring with a small diamond, it's old looking, not like the flashy one Tony got Pepper. She's pretty sure it's his mothers.

"Marry me Natalia." He starts again.

"Steve..." she wants to say yes, and it's ok the tip of her tongue but it's absolutely crazy right? He can't be serious, she's going to wake up at any second.

"I've been carrying it with me ever since I went to get you from Belgium. You're the only one for me, so please... marry me?"

Her breath hitches and she feels tears in her eyes.

"It doesn't have to be now, we get everyone back and we're gonna have a wedding. They will all be there, and James will be on the way, what do you say?" He says earnestly. His hand shaking a little as he still holds the ring out.

Before she can do anything her body takes over. She climbs off the bed, and gets on the floor next to him. She gently grabs his face in her hands.

"Yes." She says quietly, like if he hears her say yes, then it'll be over.

"Yes." She says louder, and pulls him for a kiss.

He smiles against her lips, and she does the same. He pulls away, and slides the ring on her finger.

"Let me see." He says like the big sap he is.

She holds her hand out to him, and the ring glimmers. And it feels so right.

"Perfect." He breathes pulling her in for another kiss, he pulls back again.

"Let me see." He repeats again.

She's confused.

"Steve you just saw." She laughs a little.

"No Nat, I wanna see you in the ring. Just the ring." He says huskily.

She cocks an eyebrow.

"Alright soldier." She tells him and grins.

He lifts her up and the two go to the bed. They knew it was a little I sensitive and wrong to do this. But, they didn't care. The prospect of having a future together, of her being his wife, and having his son, is enough to make her smile. All this engagement does is fill the pair with joy and more motivation to get their family back.

—

I hope you guys liked this chapter! Initially I was going to go in a different direction but I really want their relationship to have an establishment. ALSOOOO (please read):

I'm thinking of starting a new story (yes another!), it'd be a Steve/Nat au. Essentially it's about a pain program that only expects six people to treat. The six people bring the avengers, they're all their for different reasons. Tony with a heart problem from a car accident, Clint with a spleen injury from an archery accident, Thor doesn't have an eye, Steve re injured his arm from the war, Bruce has a brain injury from an experiment, and Natasha has a dark past that's left her legs almost useless. It's all about the bonds they build and how they recover, and how Steve and Natasha help one another heal. This is something personal to me considering I just accepted to one of three pain programs in the country with only six spots, let me know if you would wanna read! :)

-meg


	4. Chapter 4

NOTES BEFORE CHAPTER!

Some questions I got asked in reviews that I should have made clearer!

 **How does Bruce feel about Steve and Nat, and did Bruce and Nat ever happen?**

The answer is no. The events of ultron and such went as in the movie but Bruce and Natasha never had any sort of romantic relationship.

 **Is Tony with Nebula on Titan?**

There will be more following the question but just for now I'm going to say that Nebula was left with Tony but they parted ways. More details to come!

Following the proposal, and post proposal love making, Steve and Natasha found themselves in a comfortable sleep. After about three solid hours of sleep (the most in a long time), a pound on the door had Steve jolt awake. Natasha stirred a bit as his weight left the mattress. He pulled on a pair of nearby sweats a shirt. Pulling back the door to his room, he was met by Thor.

"Steven! It's time to depart. However you don't look ready." Thor said puzzled at his outfit.

Steve was a bit mind boggled. How did they manage to sleep this long when they had things to do.

"I presume you will be ready within ten minutes? We will meet at the hanger." He said with a smile and walked down the hall.

Steve closed the door at his friends departure, and sauntered to the bed. He sat at its edge and shook Nat a bit, she groaned as him.

"Nat," he whispered.

"Mmm" She lazily replied, eyes still shut b

"C'mon we gotta go. Thor and Rocket are waiting." He told her.

At this She was suddenly awake. Sitting up quickly and peeling back the covers.

"Geez Steve, we really slept that long?" She called out as she grabbed her suit from the closet.

"Guess so, maybe I tired you out." He said laughing a bit.

"Ditto soldier." She smirked and shut the bathroom door.

As she was freshening up in the bathroom he took the time to suit up. Slipping on his navy blue suit with rips here and there. He didn't have time to worry about the damage done, and simply gathered the bag Natasha had packed earlier. It was heavy, clearly filled with clothes and weapons. He heard the door click open to the bathroom to find Natasha dressed in her stealth suit. His breath hitched, seeing her in that never failed to make his heart skip a beat.

"All ready?" He managed to choke out.

"Ready as I'll ever be." She told him honestly.

He dropped the bag gently, and pulled her into a hug.

"You know it'll be okay, right?" He asked her.

"Steve we are about to go into space. With a god and a freaking talking raccoon. I have no idea what to expect." She said, as he felt her nestle more into his chest.

"Well whatever it is we're gonna face together." He assured her, pulling back to meet her eyes as he ran a hand through he blonde hair.

"For James." She whispered, hoping he couldn't hear. However, his super senses caught it.

"For James." He reciprocated back, pressing a gentle kiss to her hair.

The two reached the hanger finding Shuri describing different controls to Rocket. He simply waved off her long explanations and assured her he understood, and has done this many times.

"Here you are. You will need these on your travels. Enough supplies to last months, though I'm anticipating you only take a week or two." Shuri said handing Thor a few boxes.

"As you wish my lady." He bowed slightly and treaded up the ramp.

"You go ahead Steve, I need to talk to Shuri." She said patting his chest, and stalking over to her.

Steve boarded the ship a bit anxious and concerned for what was to come, whilst Natasha was approaching Shuri.

"Uh, excuse me, can we talk privately?" Natasha whispered.

Shuri nodded and led her into the nearby room off of the hanger, filled with boxes.

"I would really appreciate if you could keep what happened between us." She asked nervously.

"Certainly. Consider it patient-doctor confidentially." Shuri told her with a smile.

"Is there anything I should expect? Any information you have for me, as to how this can effect me?" Nat asked.

Shuri pondered for a moment.

"Have you felt any effects morning sickness? Mood swings?" She asked delicately.

"I threw up this morning." The spy told the young woman.

"My suspicions are confirmed." Shuri whispered to herself.

"It seems that your body can't except the change of the fetus being gone. Since what happened isn't exactly scientific more super natural. Your pregnancy will follow through as if a child was there, you will feel pregnancy effects, and your stomach may even grow. I'm sorry Agent Romanoff." Shuri told her sadly.

Shuri clearly picked up on the fact that she and the Captain wanted to keep their unborn child a secret, however now the child would never come. But, Natasha would have to feel pregnant, explain to everyone what was happening, but never be rewarded with a child. Shuri's heart broke for her.

"I see..." Nat said sadly.

"Here, take these. It should help with any illness you may feel." Shuri said, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a few bags of pills.

Natasha graciously expected and smiled at her.

"Thank you, your highness." She said with a respectful bow.

"Please, it's Shuri. I don't plan on being in charge much longer." Shuri told her with a slight grin, the girl was hopeful her brother would return.

"Thank you Shuri." Natasha said, and made her way toward the space ship.

Natasha entered the space craft to find Rocket in the Captains chair, Thor to his right, and Steve sitting behind the two.

"Everything will be ready in five." Rocket told the group.

"Uh Steve can we talk." Natasha asked in a low voice.

Steve nodded and the two walked to the back. They disappeared around the corner and Rocket gave them a puzzling look.

"What's their deal?" He asked Thor.

"I beg your pardon?" Thor clearly wasn't used to these types of questions.

"What should I be expecting from them?" Rocket tried again.

"Oh," Thor started.

"The Captain is my dearest friend on this planet, very loyal, works hard, fights for what he believes in. A good man for sure." Thor says with a small smile.

"And the agent?" Rocket asks.

"Ah, Lady Natasha." Thor chuckles slightly.

"She was very reserved when we first met. She always got things done quickly, and efficiently, but never shared with anyone. After time went on she warmed up to all of us and is a very determined, lovely woman. To my understanding Steve has a large role in her coming out of her shell. The two really are the pairing we all saw coming." Thor told his new friend.

"I see. Glad to have them aboard." Rocket said honestly.

"Me too rabbit." Thor responded patting his friend on the back.

Meanwhile in the back Natasha had taken Steve into the sleeping quarters.

"Everything okay Nat?" He asked worried.

"I just talked to Shuri. She told me that even though James isn't here," she said clutching her stomach, "that my body will still have normal pregnancy effects." She tells him.

"Which means..." he asks nervously.

"That's I'm going to get fat and sick, and no way are we gonna be able to hide it from those two, and Stark." She says a bit annoyed.

"Oh, well we can tell them, if that's what you want?" He asks her.

"I think it's best... but Steve, is that what you want?" She asks him, snapped out of her frustrated daze.

"I want what's best." He tells her earnestly.

She smiled lightly at him.

"Come on, Thors gonna go nuts." Steve said laughing and exiting the room.

The two were met by the hum of the engine being powered.

"Capwidow, you ready?" Rocket asked.

Natasha and Steve buckled into the chairs.

"Uh, what'd you call us?" Steve asked confused.

"My good old buddy Quill taught my about this thing where you combine two names of people dating. It's real fun." Rocket told them.

Natasha cocked an eyebrow and Steve mumbled an okay.

"All strapped in?" Rocket asked again.

Steve responded with a yes.

"Alright we are all ready to g-" rocket stared but was cut off.

"Wait!" Natasha exclaimed.

Steve's head snapped toward her, not sure what was wrong.

"Nat?" He whispered.

"Before we go you guys need to know, I'm pregnant." She spoke out.

Rocket spun in his chair with his mouth gaping open, and a grin on Thor's face.

"Or I was pregnant..." she started.

To this both their faces dropped feeling remorse.

"When Thanos got the last stone and wiped out half the universe he took mine and Steves baby. But since the babies disappearance isn't exactly scientific my body won't respond to it, and it'll function like I have a baby inside me but I don't, so I'm going to get big, and sick, just a heads up." She tells the two sadly.

"I'm sorry Lady Natasha. No need to worry, we will get your baby back just as we will get my brother back." Thor assured her.

"Thanks Thor." She said with a smile and tear slipped down her cheek.

Steve reached over and grabbed her hand and she excepted the gesture and squeezed him lightly.

"Yeah Red, we are gonna get them all back." Rocket said and swiveled in his chair again.

"Ready for take off?" Rocket tried again.

This time everyone responded with a yes, and he maneuvered the lever and they lifted off the ground.

After about a half hour they broke through the earths atmosphere and were catapulted into space. Rocket has turned on some music. His head was rocking backing and forth to the beat, and Natasha was lightly humming the beat to footloose. Thor and Steve were utterly confused by whatever the pair was listening to but, they just sat and silently wondered.

"So Rabbit, hoping to find your friends?" Thor asked trying to spark conversation.

"Yes I am. They drive me crazy but I don't know what I would do without them all." Rocket said seriously.

"I know the feeling." Natasha said butting in.

"Tony Stark might be the most frustrating human being in the universe, but without him it'd be weird." She said.

It was odd for her to engage in such a deep conversation with someone she barely knew, Steve figured maybe it was the hormones or simply she trusted him. He really hoped it was number two.

"Yeah I got friends, Peter Quill, Drax, Mantis, Gamora, we parted ways. I think they met up with Stark, something about a wizard and spider kid along the way." Rocket shrugged.

"Spider kid? Did he say anything about him?" Natasha asked frantically her ears perking at the mention of Peter.

"Nah sorry Red, whats it to you anyway?" Rocket asked. It wasn't by any means rude, simply pure curiosity.

"I'm his legal guardian, didn't even know he was in space until Tony called." She groaned mentally cursing herself.

"Stark mention if anyone else was with him? My friends maybe?" Rocket asked.

"No, I'm sorry. We will know soon enough, hopefully you'll be pleased with what you find." Natasha smiles at him.

He nods curtly in response and cranks up the radio as an AC/DC song comes on.

Hours and hours passed and they were growing tired.

"Let's hit the hay." Rocket said with a yawn.

"Then whose gonna operate the ship?" Steve asked confused.

"Cap in this day an age we have a good friend called auto pilot." Rocket replied and flipped a switch, and with that rose to his feet and retreated to the sleeping quarters.

"I'm with the rabbit. Goodnight friends." Thor told the pair.

"Night." Steve replied, and Natasha smiled at the god.

Steve unbuckled and stretched his limbs as Natasha still sat in the seat.

"Comfortable?" He jokes looking down on her.

"My stomach hurts." She groans.

Steve's face drops.

"Sucks you know? Feeling pregnant but the work doesn't pay off." She shrugs, trying her best trying to stay void of emotion.

"It'll pay off." He assures her.

"Want me to carry you?" He says half joking half serious.

"Just help me out of this soldier." She remarks.

He nods and unstraps the buckles, grabbing her forearm to lift her up. He supports her weight all the way back to their corridor. There lays two twin beds. Steve takes the duty of shoving them together, and Natasha can't help but smile at the action. Steve pulls back the covers and flops back.

"You gonna change?" She asks.

"Dunno, you?" He responds sleepily.

"Yeah, I already feel fatter being in this thing." She states squirming.

Natasha swiftly unzips her suit and pulls one of Steve's shirts over her head. He responds by stripping his suit and sleeps in boxers. She crawled next to him and craved into his side.

"If Thor walked in on us half naked right now, we'd never hear the end of it." She quipped.

"Could be worse. Stark could be here." He chuckled.

"Speaking of..." She starts clearing her throat.

"Are you two... are you gonna be okay?" The spy asks seriously.

"Yeah. What happened between me and Tony isn't important right now. Whatever we both still feel, it's gonna have to wait." He declared.

She felt him nod against his chest.

"You know Steve, I never did it to hurt you." She almost whispers.

"Natasha... come on, we've talked about this." He warns. Not that he was upset, but she harbored too much guilt.

"You know at the time you guys are all I had, all I've ever had. I just didn't want to loose you all. In the end I realized you were most important to me. I mean, I betrayed Stark just to save your sorry ass." She says with a laugh in attempts o lighten the mood.

"That's why I love you, if you hadn't come along that day, it could've been horrible." He told her kissing her head.

"Do we tell Stark? About James, about the engagement?" She asked.

He had a feeling that she felt most comfortable with that, Natasha and Tony had been raising a kid of their own which kept them in touch, and help them make amends.

"Yeah. I think it's best." Steve said, he was being honest, of course.

But he didn't just agree for her benefit, his own too. The thought that him and Natasha moving past the events by having a child (hopefully), getting married, could speak volumes to Tony that they should do the same. And though Natasha would never admit it out loud, there were few men she needed in her life. Those included: Steve, Peter, Clint, and Stark. It's easier this way, and he knew it.

"Rest up soldier, we got a lot ahead of us." She mewed through a yawn.

He agreed and the two drifted into a sleep engrossed in one another's arms.

The next couple of days fell into a similar routine. They'd all talk about whatever in the cage is a good majority and then head to the bunks at night. On the fourth day into the trip Steve had let it slip that he asked Natasha to be his wife. She wasn't angry, she actually thought it was adorable how he attempted to cover it up. Nat shushed him and confirmed the news before he could embarrass himself further. Rocket smiled wide and said a congratulations. He felt like he knew them somewhat well being they've been stuck with one another for so long. He respected them, and thought that they had (and continued to) endure a lot and seems strong in the face of adversity, it was admirable. Thor of course boomed happily, and then picked up a plate to throw claiming it's an 'asgardian tradition', Steve gently told him they could celebrate properly on another occasion and he backed down. Now, day eleven into the space excursion Rocket said they would be landing on Titan at any minute. Steve and Natasha (not used to space culture) couldn't tell if it was day or night, and didn't care. They were eager to get to Tony, and hopefully closer to defeating Thanos.

Rocket clipped a few switches.

"Hold on tight we are coming in hot." He claimed.

Steve gripped the handle bars tightly, and Natasha just sat as before, like this was a rollercoaster. They landed just fine, and Rocket told them they were all set. They all got up to explore when Steve stopped them.

"Wait, don't we need like, helmets or something?" He asked concerned.

They all laughed, even Natasha, whose never been to space.

"Steven. The air we breathe here is just as cleanly as it is on Midgard." Thor claimed.

Rocket lowered the ramp for them all to leave, and Steve stood still. Natasha went and grabbed his hand.

"Come on captain, time to find Stark." She said dragging him out.

Sorry for being so behind on posting. I've been busy! I'm thinking about starting a new story soon, I've pre written some chapters. It's the prompt I discussed about the avengers entering a pain program in the hospital, and Steve and Nat fall in love. It's an AU, and to read in more detail about the prompt you can check the last chapter! Thank you for reading please review :)


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